How Do You Hate Superman
by Remilyon
Summary: Richard White's thoughts on what happened in the movie.


How Do You Hate Superman

By Remilyon

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Wish I did but I don't.

I have something that Superman wants. I, Richard White, have the one woman the one person on the planet that Superman loves above all others. It's funny I had always heard about them, about her obsession with him but I had never figured it for real love or that he would feel the same way about her. I came to the Daily Planet after he had already left. I discounted it all. I knew what it was to bask in her love and love her back, so I put all the Superman rumors down as just that rumors and maybe hero worship combined with a crush. Lois has never given me any reason to doubt her love for me, and I still don't but I saw the way he looked at her. There was a world of longing in his eyes that I recognize because I use to see it in mine when I didn't have her. He truly loves her.

I remember when I first found out he was back I questioned her on what she felt for him. I asked her if she loved him. I don't know why I asked. Wait no that's a lie and I try my best not to lie to myself. I was asking because he was back and all those old rumors that I had cast away all of a sudden were not so very far away. They all came rushing back at me and I had to know. She told me the whole world loved him. I looked into her eyes and asked the one thing I was...I was most afraid to ask because I already knew the answer. "But did you?" a part of me wanted to rewind time right then and there, to take the words back. I didn't want to force her eyes to look away from mine as she lied to me and forced me to realize how long I had been lying to myself (maybe that's why I can't stand to lie to myself anymore). She turned her eyes away from mine as she opened her mouth it took an eternity for her to say what I longed to hear.

"No I didn't," there she had said it and my world shattered around me. I saw it. I saw the lie it radiated through out her voice, her body practically shouted it to me. I knew it. I knew she loved him. I had to face the lie we had been living. In that moment I couldn't pretend anymore, I love her and I believe her when she says she loves me. She just doesn't love me the way she loves him.

After that I wanted to hate him. I tried to hate him. But he was doing so much good and he never came near her. At least not to my knowledge. He never singled her out. How can you hate a man that does what he does? Besides by then I had come to the conclusion that he just did not feel the same way about Lois as she did him. I didn't understand why not but it appeared that he just didn't . Then it happen and I realized that again I had lied to myself.

I had gone out to save Lois and my son. When I found them I couldn't help but think, 'Where was Superman this time Lois. He's not the one saving you I am.' Then the boat was hit raised out of the water by the newly formed land and snapped in two. Water was rising Lois was knocked out and Jason, our son and if I'm guessing right _His_ son, was so scared. Lois never told me who Jason's father was only that he was no longer around. Sometimes I surprise myself looking back and seeing how blind I was. I thought for sure we were all going to die and there was nothing I could do as I watched the surface of the ocean get farther and father away as we sank in our tomb. Then there he was. He pulled us out. He pulled half of a yacht out of the ocean. I don't know why this seemed to be more of a feat than anything else he had done. Maybe because this was the first time I had seen him face to face doing what he does the best, save the day. Maybe it was because this time I was the one in need of direct saving or because I knew how helpless I was, as a human to come close to doing what he was doing to save my family. And in that moment even I loved him as the whole world does. He was saving for me my whole world. Then I noticed it after he pull the locked door open.

I saw his eyes as he looked at her. I saw the longing, the worry, the dread, the love. All of these were directed at her. I wanted to shout at him then 'No she's mine to look at that way not yours you have no right to look at her that WAY.' Then his face became a mask, unreadable, it was as if the man I had just seen was gone, and in his place was Superman. He asked me if I had a good grip then dropped the ship we had been trapped in.

How do you hate a man who just saved your life? I 'll tell you how. You have the woman you love wake up and make you turn around and head back into harms way for him, for Superman. You have the woman you love willing to risk her life , your life and the life of your child for a man that you know can take care of himself. Then you watch her dive into the water to drag him up when she proves that she was right and he needed us. The love I said I felt for him not more that 30 minutes ago turned into hatred yet again in those moments. Even as I saw him struggling to live, as I saw him trying his best not to die I hated him, because Lois had never looked at me the way she was at that moment looking at him. All of her heart was in her eyes, her voice and though I already knew it, even though I already knew he held her heart in ways I never could, it hurt to see it. To watch all the walls around her drop in a way I had longed for but it wasn't for me, no it was for him, Superman.

And yet I had a change of heart yet again when he pushed himself up and stepped out the door of my plane that was still in flight. When he told Lois goodbye and flew off to face what had just moments before left him at death's door. He was going back for more. It's easy to think of Superman facing a bullet without blinking those don't hurt him. It's easy to say I'd be that brave to if I knew nothing could hurt me. It's easy to say I could do all those good things for the world if I had his powers. But let's be honest cause remember I'm a big fan of being honest, if we had those powers most likely we would be like the very people he fights; corrupt, evil using our powers to get our way. I now know what makes Superman just that Superman. Even knowing that he would most likely die, knowing he could be hurt, knowing that this would, for all he knew be the last time he would see the woman he loved. He stepped out of the plane and at Lois' protest that he would die, he gave her what he had not the last time he left her, maybe because then he knew he would come back and this time he wasn't so sure. He told her Goodbye. Then, he flew back into the danger he just left.

And this is why now as I watch Lois worry about him in the Daily Planet's office I can think to myself. I have the one woman and now as I think about it, child that Superman wants. Most people if they could say that it would be pride filled, it would be boasting, but for me it's just a fact. I have the the two people Superman longs for calling me fiancee' and daddy. And I know it's only because he let them go. It's because he gave them to me. If he had told Lois he still loved her she would go running into his arms. And I know this, I also know he never will for as much as Superman wants to belong to the family he has made he belongs too much to the world to put them through that. He told her Goodbye.

He gave me the woman he loves. Is it any wonder then that I grab my keys and tell Lois that I'm taking her to hospital he's at and encourage her to get through to him if anyone can it's her. Superman has given me everything. Can I do any less?


End file.
